if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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