Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
