I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
