This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
