My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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