Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
