is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
