it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
