Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
