So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
