I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
