You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
