Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
