Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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