Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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