there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
