strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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