What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
my liver is dry heaving
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
