I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
