hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
