doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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