he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
