Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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