if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I will be naked everywhere
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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