You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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