I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
