i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
