But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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