bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had to cum in my sink.
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