I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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