I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
