I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
