I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
