lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
