im having a threesome with these popsicles
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
