ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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