over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
