Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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