Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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