You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
