My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
