Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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