your parents love me but you hate me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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