Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Who died my cat blue again?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
