I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
