ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
