You're so nebulous sometimes
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize