Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
