Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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