Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
only if we run a train.
done.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
