so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just found a bag of teeth...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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